unChristian: Judgmental (Matthew 7:1-5)

Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of other people’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business and telling them how to live their lives. Most of the church people did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but they feared her too much to confront her.

However, she made a mistake when she turned her attack on Frank, a new member to the congregation. She accused Frank of being an alcoholic after seeing his old pickup parked in front of the only bar in town one afternoon. She told Frank, and anyone else who would listen, that anyone driving by and seeing Frank’s truck there would know what he was doing.

Frank was a man of few words. He didn’t say anything to her. He didn’t explain or deny, and eventually he just turned and walked away. Later that evening, Frank parked his pickup truck in front of Mildred’s house, walked home, and left it there all night.

Today we are continuing in our “unChristian” message series. unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity . . . And Why it Matters is a book by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, based on some very comprehensive research done among 16-29-year-olds and their perception of Christians, Christianity, and the Church.

In short, Christians have an image problem outside the Church, and particularly among those between the ages of 16 and 29. Young adults have checked out of the Church at a rate five times higher than those over age 65. This is a problem. Jesus said that his followers would be known by their love, but as a collective group, it seems Christians are not known by our love but by the judgments we make on others. May we pray.

In the beginning, God created humankind in God’s image; and we humans have been trying to repay the favor ever since. Anne Lamott, a popular Christian writer, says “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your image when it turns out God hates all the same people you do.” Today we respond to the fact that when 16-29-year-olds are polled about their perceptions of Christians, 87% responded that they perceive Christians to be judgmental. In short, if you introduce yourself to your 20-something neighbor and then disclose your Christian faith, that neighbor will likely assume that you are judgmental. Perhaps a definition is helpful here. To be judgmental is to point out something that you perceive to be wrong in someone’s life, making the person feel put down, excluded, and marginalized.

An entire generation says Christians are more focused on condemning people than in helping them become more like Jesus. Could this be telling us we have lost something in the way we articulate and describe God’s expectations? Are we more concerned with the un­-righteousness of others that we fail to see our own self­-righteousness?

My hope throughout this series of messages is that we will all approach each topic with an open mind, and that all of us might respect and value each other, and be willing to learn from each other. And maybe, just maybe, if we are willing to keep our minds open to God’s revelation and our hearts open to increasingly Christlike character, there might be things that we learn about God, about ourselves, and about our relationships with each other. God is wise enough to handle a complex generation and worldview, and God’s people need to be as well.

This week, I simply asked this question: “Have you ever felt judged by Christians?” You can take a look at my facebook page if you want to see some of the responses to the question, but there is one response in particular I want to share with you. Rob and I met in third grade and were great friends all through our time growing up. We’ve even stayed fairly loosely in touch through the years. Here is a picture of us about a year ago at our 10-year high school reunion. And here we are in our 6^th Grade team photo – yes, I know you’re wondering about the sailor hats – our team in middle school was called “The Navigators,” and we claimed to be the wave of the future – and everything we did had a stupid nautical theme.

Because my last name begins with “T” and his with “U,” he sat directly behind me in nearly every class. We got in trouble for years together. With our friend, Mark Santangelo, who sat directly in front of me, we were apparently referred to in the teachers’ lounge as “the triangle of terror,” – the inevitable result of three kids who are smart, mischievous, and bored.

Rob grew up Mormon. Years later, he also came to terms with his sexuality and told us he was gay. So, in response to my question, “Have you ever felt judged by Christians,” Rob responded, “all the effing time!” On his way into a Buffalo Sabres game at HSBC Arena there was a guy standing there with a sign saying, “God will punish all fornicators, Mormons, drunkards, homosexuals, and Jews.” Rob’s brother-in-law looked at him and said, “Hey Rob, looks like you’re screwed!”

We Christians are quick to judge! We’d rather quickly sort people into neat little categories than get to know them as the complex people they are. People judge for a variety of reasons. Some judge out of arrogance, thinking they’ve arrived and have it all figured out. Some judge out of fear, afraid of those whose beliefs, lifestyle, actions, or attitudes are different than their own, or simply being afraid of the unknown.

It breaks my heart when I hear these stories and witness this type of behavior. As a Christian, I get painted with the same brush as a hate-filled person outside a sporting event, even though I am trying to represent a picture of Jesus that is almost antithetical to this particular view. People have been misrepresenting Christ, and this really burns my biscuits! I desire to accurately represent him as best as I understand and have experienced him.

Our reading from Matthew is part of Jesus’ sermon on the mount. He goes on for several chapters, teaching about what it means to be blessed in God’s kingdom as opposed to the kingdoms of the world, about being salt and light in the world, about divorce, about loving their enemies, about praying, about worrying. Now, I know Jesus didn’t have a seminary education, but this is not way to construct a sermon. Where’s his focus? He covered everything! And it’s so long! If I preached this long, there is no way that you all would beat the Baptists to the restaurants after worship, that is, if you even stick around long enough to hear the ending.

But then Jesus says: “Do not judge, unless you want to be judged.” If you want to be judged, then go ahead and judge others. If you do not want others to judge you, then you should refrain from judging others. And if you insist on judging others, perhaps you’d better take that ginormous log out of your own eye before you reach over to help a neighbor with that tiny little floater in theirs.

OK, Jesus, I hear you, but come on! Not judge? If Christians don’t stand up for God’s standards in the world, who will? What about the tough issues of our time? Who is going to take a stance on these?

Sometimes, I fear that too many Christians are like the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland whose maxim was, “Sentence first, verdict later!” Do we as Christians act like the Queen of Hearts? Always yelling, forcing others to paint the world as we wish, sentencing people to heaven or hell when Jesus hasn’t really given a final verdict on any of us yet? People may fear her, but are they attracted to anything in her life?

God has called Christians to be God’s agents on the earth; we are charged with representing God and the fullness of his love and acceptance to the world – we are called to fish for people and draw them to God. If I’m going to fish for people, I want to be the best-tasting worm on the hook I can be. Rather than draw people to God with the taste of judgment, I still prefer to err on the side of compassion, humility, and forgiveness, for this and this alone is the way of Jesus.

If you believe that the Christian faith is primarily about issues, then you’ll be the one always feeling we need to take a stand on things. And you’ll probably be disappointed with me as your pastor, for I will never take a stand on an issue that causes me to take a stand against any of God’s people.

And this is my stance – I am for people. Recall the heart of the Gospel message – through the person of Jesus, all people would be reconciled to God. Therefore, the Christian faith is primarily about people – about pointing people toward God, about representing the love of God in the world, about loving our neighbor as we love ourselves, about having the love of God shed abroad through our hearts. Friends, no life of God’s creating is beyond God’s redeeming. God isn’t finished with anyone. Creation, as it leaves the hand of God, is good, and God desires nothing more than to stand face to face with each of his beloved children. Our task is to point people back toward God – we are like signs along the road, constantly pointing people toward a loving and gracious Creator who loves each of us just exactly as we are – broken, damaged, dirty, mangled – but who loves us entirely too much to leave us that way.

Ok, A.J. – this love crap is great, but what about the Bible? When are you going to talk about taking a stand for what the Bible says? OK, let’s do that.

Usually Christians who want to justify their own judgmental attitudes will quote the 1^st Chapter of Romans at you, a chapter in which Paul talks about a whole long list of unrighteousness, though Scripture is clear that judgment belongs to God and God alone. But immediately in the next chapter we are told, “When you say these people are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things. Don’t you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin? (Romans 2:1,4)

In the 12^th Chapter of Mark, we are told to render unto God the things that are God’s. There is only one judge – God. And for us to judge is to presume to take upon ourselves a responsibility, that, by all right and authority belongs to God. For us to judge is to presume the position of God for ourselves (Mark 12:13-17).

When we feel that we can arrogantly point out the sins of others, we are reminded in the 4^th chapter of James that God “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

God continues to reveal my own biases to me, and what a kindness and means of grace this has been in my life. I encourage you to consider your response. In fact, close your eyes and place your hands palms up, in a posture of receptivity. What wrong ideas do you harbor about people? If you feel a growing sense of self-justification – I have a right to be judgmental about sin; that’s what God calls me to do – you may have already missed the chance to have God reveal your blind spots. If people have used words like arrogant to describe you, how have you responded? Are your critics right? Are you softhearted enough to see a clear picture of your motivations?

In the movie The Devil’s Advocate, Al Pacino plays the devil. At the end of the movie, he leans into the camera and says, “Vanity – my favorite sin.” Unfortunately, vanity and arrogance seem to be favorite sins of Christians, too.

Arrogance within the Christian community is too often accepted or at least excused. The research shows that we tolerate our own pride; we do not feel God’s anger at arrogance. We need to start seeing ourselves and those around us for the people we really are – needy and hurting but with great potential as God’s sons and daughters created in the image of God. Maybe then we would reject arrogance as adamantly as we do any other sin, because it is especially corrosive to the faith of those who follow Christ.

God is the judge; I’m not. I am neither the judge, jury, nor the executioner. I am simply a witness. I am a witness of God’s great love in Jesus Christ for all people, regardless of who they are, what they look like, what they smell like, what they act like, what they believe, what they do, who they love, or who they hang with.

If we judge others, then we are forgetting the sin that is still real in our own lives – how we all have fallen and fall continually short of the grace of God. Friends, I am still working on trying to get the log out of my own eye; it hardly seems right for me to point my finger at the sins of others. And yet, I find that I am very judgmental toward people who are judgmental. As Ann Lamott says, “I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.” Maybe we Christians should start worrying more about our own lives and less about telling other people how to live theirs. Jesus tells us to take the log out of our own eye before we start pointing to the speck in our neighbor’s; we can only see how distorted the world has become when we first stop to see how distorted our own lives have become.

Perhaps you’ve heard it said, “Love the sinner, but hate the sin.” What a load of garbage that is! It’s like saying love the river, but hate the water. Love the fire, but hate the flame. It’s as if we say, “Love the person, but remember that their issue is actually more important than they are, and you need to take a stand against their issue, so be sure to remind that beautiful person who was created in the image of God that whatever label you have arbitrarily assigned to them is more important than they are.”

People outside the Church hear this saying, and they perceive that Christians hate them, and in many cases, they are right. And so the result is that people who are created in the image of God and need the love of God perceive that the people who are supposed to represent Christ’s love actually hate them. Friends, the Church must be for people instead of against issues. Christians must share the love of Christ – to share it radically and recklessly without any discrimination whatsoever. Christians must share the love of Christ, and leave it up to the Holy Spirit to convict and convince.

It’s not the job of any person to judge; that’s what God does. I am not the judge, jury, or executioner. I am simply here as a witness – a witness of God’s great love in Christ for all people, even those who have yet to realize the depth and the breadth of God’s love for them, even the people whom some of the saints have labeled sinners. But what is a saint, other than a sinner who continues to grow in God’s grace?

It’s not about me, and my prejudices and my biases and my view of how I think the world should work. It’s about God, and thanks be to God, who is gracious enough even to love and accept someone like you, and someone like me.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “There is someone I accept, even though some of his thoughts and actions revolt me. There is someone I forgive, even though he hurts the people I love the most. That person is me.”

If we judge others, we are forgetting that the grace we have received is offered preveniently to everyone around us – grace freely given to every living person. And when we look around even as we look deep within ourselves and see ourselves as sinners who have been redeemed by the grace of God, then we cannot possibly look around and see ourselves as better than anyone else. It doesn’t matter who we are. Porn stars or preachers, gay or straight, Republican or Democrat, it doesn’t mean a rip to God. We are all God’s children, and we are all in need of this stunningly beautiful thing called grace.

unChristian: Perception is Reality (Luke 6:43-45)

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit; for each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.

If you have done much traveling outside the United States, no doubt you know that there are some negative perceptions about Americans in many parts of the world. Several years ago in Europe, I witnessed numerous episodes of stereotypically ugly Americans acting like stereotypically ugly Americans, and I cringed each time. I listened to one woman from somewhere in Texas who was having difficulty communicating with a Belgian taxi driver. Her solution was to yell loudly and slowly at the man – in English – in the hopes that he would understand. Though I usually wanted to apologize to these locals and say, “Not all Americans are like that, I promise!” usually I just ended up pretending I was Canadian.

If you have done much traveling outside the Church, no doubt you know that there are some negative perceptions about Christianity in many parts of our culture. Today we are beginning a six-week series entitled “unChristian.” We will be taking a hard look at what a new generation really thinks about Christianity, and why it matters. The themes of our messages over the next six weeks are going to come out of a book called unChristian. It is based on some research by the Barna Group among 16-29 year-olds about their perceptions about Christians and the Church. The Barna Group is sort of like the Gallup Pollsters, except they focus exclusively on trends and issues within American Christianity.

Their research backs experiences I’ve had over the last several years. I have encountered an increasing number of young adults who are turned off from Christianity. They aren’t necessarily turned off from Jesus, but they are frustrated with Christianity. I find this not only in my friends outside the Christian faith, but even among those within the Christian faith. In many ways, they are like Ghandi, who once said to E. Stanley Jones, a great Methodist missionary, “I like your Jesus, but I find so few Christians who look like him.” May we pray.

I realize that today we probably have a good mix of people here. Some of us are lifelong Christians, and some of us are here with our questions and our doubts and thinking, “I’m not sure I really go along with any of this,” and a whole lot of us who are somewhere inbetween these two positions. I realize that throughout this sermon series, there will be things I say that will make some of you want to cheer, and there will be things I say that will cause you to want to write a letter to the District Superintendent. His name is Dr. George Thompson, and his mailing address is 4108 Park Road, Suite 101, Charlotte, NC 28209.

My hope, however, is that you’ll do neither of these things. My hope is that these messages allow us to see ourselves as others see us, even when we don’t like or even agree with the perception, and that we all have the open-mindedness to see the places where we still have room to grow, and that all of us would be a little more Christlike tomorrow than we were yesterday.

If you’re here as someone who is skeptical or hostile toward Christianity, or if you have negative perceptions about Christians, first, let me just apologize on behalf of Christians everywhere for whatever negative experiences you’ve had. And, thanks for joining us today – I’m honored you’d be here.

Last week, a friend of mine had to see an eye doctor while he was vacationing on an Alaskan island. I asked how he found him, and he said, “I simply looked in the Yellow Pages under ‘Optical Aleutians.’”

Perception is reality. What we see is reality as we know it. Perhaps you’ve heard it said that someone sees the world through rose-colored glasses, meaning they see everything in its best possible light and never even see the possible negative things around them. Their perception is their reality.

Or, consider the social phenomenon known as “Beer Goggles.” Beer Goggles is a condition whereby the excessive consumption of alcohol causes one to flirt with, hit on, or otherwise be attracted to a person one would never look at twice were one sober. For the person affected with this condition, their perception of the attractiveness of said person becomes their reality, until the condition has worn off.

Perception is reality. This is true for each of us. Unfortunately for Christianity, many young adults today have perceptions of Christianity that are not favorable. Regardless of how we feel we are being perceived, we must recognize that people’s perception are their reality. Sometimes these perceptions come from the media, and sometimes they come from experiences in particular churches, sometimes they come from encounters with Christians, sometimes they are a conglomeration of these different influences. But, the perceptions are out there, and the perceptions are reality.

The growing hostility toward Christianity is very much a reflection of what outsiders feel they receive from believers. They say their aggression simply matches the oversized opinions and egos of Christians. One outsider put it this way: “Most people I meet assume that Christian means very conservative, entrenched in their thinking, antigay, antichoice, angry, violent, illogical, empire builders; they want to convert everyone, and they generally cannot live peacefully with anyone who doesn’t believe what they believe.”

This week, I attempted to collect some field research through facebook. I asked people to respond to the question, “What do you think of Christians?” Has it ever happened to you that you put one thing up in your status update thinking it was going to go one direction, but the thread related to your status was promptly hijacked by people heading in a completely different direction? I was hoping my nonChristian friends might respond, but instead, many Christian friends chimed in to share their two cents, which ended up cutting off the discussion from my nonChristian friends who might have responded. In fact, a few people emailed their responses directly to me so their thoughts weren’t out there in front of everyone to be attacked. They were scared of the Christians, because experience taught them that Christians were confrontational and defensive.

Inevitably, someone will say, “Who cares what nonChristians think about Christians? We’re not supposed to be making ourselves popular to the heathens.” That’s an almost verbatim quote from someone I had a conversation with along these lines in the last year, thinking this was too much cultural accommodation that was diluting the Gospel. Basically he said, “Who cares?”

Well, I do. Many of you do. I’m pretty sure God does, too. After all, we Christians are supposed to represent Christ to the world. So we have to ask ourselves – these perceptions, do they accurately sum up who Jesus is? Do they show a picture of Jesus we’re happy with?

One crucial insight pops up through this discussion. From thousands of outsiders’ impressions, it is clear that Christians have become famous for what we oppose, rather than who we are for. We are known for having an us-versus-them mentality. Outsiders believe Christians do not like them because of what they do, how they look, or what they believe. They feel minimized—or worse, demonized—by those who claim to love Jesus. Is this a picture of Jesus we’re happy with?

But for us to assume that these are simply misperceptions of Christians would be a huge mistake. These perceptions are based on real experiences nonChristians have had with Christians.

One helpful way to reflect on this conclusion is through the lens of a brand. Scott Bedbury, creator of both the Nike and Starbucks brands, defines a brand as a collection of perceptions in the consumer’s mind. For example, what do you think of when you hear the word Starbucks? You may think of the round green logo. You may think of the taste of a javachip frappachino. You may think of a comfortable place to meet friends and have a conversation. Or, you may have a completely different, negative collection of perceptions based on experiences you’ve had at Starbucks or things you’ve heard about it.

I last ate at a Shoney’s in 1996. The plates on the salad bar were dirty, and this experience forged a set of perceptions in my mind about Shoney’s. I have judged every other Shoney’s restaurant since then based on this experience 13 years ago. The point is, when presented with a brand name, you immediately summon all of your past experiences and interactions with the product and form an instant opinion.

To outsiders the word Christian has more in common with a brand than a faith. Some longtime church members may not like this perception that speaks of us in terms of product, brand, marketing, and other related concepts. Nevertheless, it is reality. The shift of meaning in recent decades has been magnified by the increase use of the term Christian to label music, clothes, schools, political action groups, and more. Sadly, Christianity is a bad brand in the minds of tens of millions of people.

Here in North Carolina, 22% of the population attends church on any given weekend. Of the 23,000 people who live within a mile and a half of this building, that means 17,940 were not in church this past weekend. It would be easy for us to start saying, “What’s wrong with these people? Why weren’t they in church?”

Where Christianity has come to represent hypocrisy, judgmentalism, anti-intellectualism, insensitivity, and bigotry, it’s easy to see why the next generation wants nothing to do with it. If this is the way we are so widely perceived, it’s no wonder that only 22% of the population in North Carolina attends church. In fact, we should be amazed that 22% actually do show up despite these popular perceptions!

Jesus said a tree would be known by its fruit. We, and the Jesus we represent, will be known by the fruit produced in our lives. We must constantly ask ourselves, based on the fruit being produced in our lives, particularly in our interactions with our friends and neighbors outside the faith, do we like the view of Jesus being portrayed? We need to allow the character of Christ to root itself deep in our being, that the fruit our lives produce may be that which points back toward Christ. Christians must recapture and live out a holistic view of our calling in the world. If we do, new perceptions will follow.

Many modern-day Christians have lost touch with the all-encompassing Gospel that goes beyond personal salvation and reaches every corner of society. When conversion growth is the single measure of success, the hard work of discipleship gets ignored. When Christian faith is relegated to a personal, private, spiritual decision about where you will spend the afterlife, the here and now matters less and less. When being a Christian can be determined by whether you “prayed the prayer,” the focus shifts easily to who is in and who is out. As a result, Christians can be found out on the edges of society, pointing their finger at the outsiders, judging and condemning them. Many have separated themselves from the world and mimick the actions, attitudes, and behaviors of the Pharisees for whom Jesus had the most contempt when he walked the earth.

Hear me carefully. I know that these perceptions are based on the attitudes and actions of perhaps only a small fraction of the Christian family. I realize that many of the longtime Christians here in the room may not be directly responsible for these perceptions. I realize that one of my personal faults is that I am intolerant of people who are intolerant. I am frustrated by other Christians who I perceive to be responsible for our negative image in society. I look at Christians who are close-minded, or insensitive, or judgmental, or hypocritical, and I wag my finger and say, “Shame, shame, shame,” and fail to realize that I am doing to them just what I perceive they are doing to those outside their particular way of thinking.

As a Christian, I am just as responsible for the negative perceptions of Christianity as those I would want to blame. Surely, I have been close-minded, insensitive, or judgmental over a whole host of issues other than the ones I am upset about, and I am also responsible for whatever negative connotations exist about Christians. Even if I were not personally responsible for any of the negative perceptions about Christians—and trust me, I know my own faults and shortcomings well enough to know that I have messed up plenty—any who claim the name “Christian” or belong to this organization called “Church” get painted with the same negative brush. Perhaps that’s not fair, but it’s reality.

However, I can also be partly responsible for the solution to the problem. Friends, there is only one way to change a perception. You have to consistently prove the perception wrong.

The church must recover a theology and practice of common grace; we need to focus on discipleship as well as conversion. When we no longer know what it means (much less care) to be salt and light among those in our culture and to be an influence for good we forfeit our role as agents of Christ’s kingdom. As I study Scripture, current culture, theology, and church history, it seems abundantly clear that the source of negative perceptions of Christians is a poorly understood and lived expression of Christianity.

It comes down to this: we must become Christlike again.

At first glance, this may seem an oversimplified solution, but friends, there is no other task to which the followers of Jesus should be devoted. If we are not about being Christlike, about being the hands and feet of Jesus in the world, I honestly don’t know what we’re still doing here. Being the presence of Christ in the world is our business, and we have no other. And though it is a simple solution, it is far from an easy one.

We must commit to doing the hard work of recapturing Christianity’s essence in our own lives. It’s easy to point out the imperfections of others, but it takes much more humility and grace to confront the faults and shortcomings within ourselves. Being unChristian is easy. Being Christian, however, is hard work. Putting the needs of others above your own, loving your neighbor, doing good to those who would do evil to you, exercising humility, suffering with those less fortunate, and doing it all with a pure heart is nearly impossible. But it is Jesus’ model and call.

There is a challenge here for all of us. There is a challenge here to become the kind of Christ-followers who are full of love, grace, and compassion. There is a challenge to imagine what could happen, and then commit to being the change we want to create. We must exhibit an expression of Christianity that is quick to listen and slow to speak, that seeks out the best in every person we encounter and point them toward their loving Creator.